How To Overcome Negative Judgements
By Polly Green
Recently the star of a strangers movie, revealed the comic truth that thoughts are not real.
We all see through our own lens, as if there is a veil between what is truly happening and what we see as real.
The dive boat motored along in search of our next diving location. Soaking up the sun and the pristine Indonesian ocean scenery, gratitude permeated every pore of my being on this soul searching, reconnecting with me adventure. I was purposely alone and loving it.
An older German lady fellow diver was being especially nice to me, and struck up a conversation. “So you are headed to Burma after this trip?” She compassionately enquired. “No.” I replied, “I am on my way to India.” She seemed a bit confused. “You mean you are not with him?” Pointing in the direction of an older, photographer, diver man also on the boat. “No, no.” I assured her. “I came alone. That man and I only shared the five minute boat ride across from the main island. We only just met yesterday.” A smile emerged across her face as she confessed, “I have been feeling sorry for you. I thought you and he were a couple, and he has been flirting with all of the single women. I thought maybe you got in a fight, so I was trying to be nice to you and have been giving him dirty looks this whole time!” I assured her I was happily single, laughing at her imaginary mental drama. Playing the leading lady in someone else’s soap opera magnified the illusionary nature of thought.
This woman had created a complete false reality, and believed it to the point of taking me under her motherly wing. Meanwhile, I was happy as a clam, solo and loving it. None of her made up story was real. None of it.
How often has this happened to all of us?
Judging others on assumption rather than fact. Watching our imaginary movie unfold in front of our very eyes, scripting it through the veil we perceive, rather than the reality of truth.
How often do we mentally incarcerate someone before allowing them a fair trial. Knowing the facts could completely change our opinion, and dissolve our story.
Vigilance on the path of knowing the self means constant awareness of thinking.
Questions to ask yourself starting now:
- What am I thinking?
- Is it negative?
- Am I generating negative thoughts about a person?
People do not live in our heads. We are the one’s choosing to think the thoughts we are thinking about that person. Our mental subjects are going about their lives, hopefully in blissful ignorance of our negative projection. However, our negative thoughts and projections are not serving us or them in any way. So what can we do about this compulsive mental pattern. How do we change?
Top tips to dismantle negative thinking:
- Awareness of the thought is the first step. Call yourself out with complete honest integrity. Own your thought, and ask your higher self (or higher power) for help to change. This requires self compassion on your part. Recognise your thought without beating yourself up about it.
- Change the negative thought to a positive blessing to the person. Wish them good health, wealth and happiness. Send them unconditional love every time they pop into your head.
- Change the mental channel.
- Continue to watch your thoughts. As you simply see them they will lose their strength. Turning on the light for a child who is afraid of the monster hiding under the bed in the dark, reveals the truth. No monster.
The reality is that everyone is a reflection of some part of ourselves. Sending love to the person we have been abusing inside our heads, also sends compassion to that part in us. Learning to have compassion for ourselves and others by beginning this simple but not easy mental practice creates drastic improvements in how we travel in the world. Cleaning up our thoughts also positively affects our speech and actions, coming into alignment with the highest versions of ourselves.
Creating change begins within. Raising the frequency of our thoughts, by sending out blessings instead of judgements, shifts our energetic field. Our thoughts are our responsibility, and peace begins with us.